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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member Dmitry ShcherbakovMale/United States Recent Activity
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Cybernetic [Fan art] by Akara-art

Yo yo yo, you requested a critique and Mono intends to deliver. This is my first critique ever, so please, chalk up any unprofessionali...

Check this, man.

So, a couple of weeks ago I bought a box of frozen mozzarella sticks from the store, 'cos I'm a sad single piece of shit that doesn't know how to cook. They were sitting in the freezer all this time, right, just minding their own business. Tonight I finally tell myself, 'right gonna have a proper FEAST for dinner' and I take the sticks out and I leave them cooking in the oven. While I'm waiting for the things to thaw, I check the box, nutrition facts, specifically. Just for something to do, you know? It's not like I'm insecure about my health or whatever, I'm thin as a twig and walk for a living. Also I don't have a car anymore and have to walk everywhere when I'm not walking for work, and admittedly that's all my fault. But anyway, back to the label.

What's the serving size? One stick.

Are you shitting me. One stick isn't a serving. One stick is like half an appetizer.

Okay, well how many servings per box. Nutrition label says about eight. ABOUT eight? What's this amateur bullshit, you can't measure out eight sticks into a box? I open the oven right quick to count out how many there were in the box, and, sure enough, there are seven in there, laying all innocent on the metallic grate. Fuck you man, seven sticks isn't 'about eight'. I can understand 'about this many servings' for something like a bag of goldfish crackers, where you can't honestly expect them to measure out an exact number into every bag, but for something like this, where there are literally less than ten pieces a bag, I don't think it's too much for me to expect that they'd give me exactly eight sticks per box. None of this 'maybe seven, maybe nine' bullshit, give me what I paid for, motherfucker.

Somewhere out there, there's a family of four that are preparing their nice family dinner and the absentminded father stuck seven of these sticks into the oven, because the nutrition label lied to him barefaced, saying that there were eight. And he's taking the sticks out, measuring two for himself, two for his college-bound daughter, two for his six-year old son, and one for his lovely wife. The wife, she just completely falls apart, screaming and throwing plates all over, questioning whether he really loves her, whether he's been seeing someone else on the side, someone he's saving the last mozzarella stick for. The marriage dissolves, the funding for the daughter's continuing education disappears into supplementary mozzarella stick purchases, she grows up to be a prostitute and her kid brother becomes a junkie street thug.

All because fucking T.G.I. Friday's just doesn't give half a shit about providing their customers with a quality product.

I buy a box of frozen Eggo waffles, does the box say 'about ten waffles'? No, it says 'ten waffles' clearly on the side of the box. And every box contains ten, no more, no less. How does the frozen mozzarella stick industry continue to get away with such wanton negligence? I call for a boycott of all T.G.I. Friday's products. This disrespect of the consumer cannot be allowed to continue.
  • Mood: Rant
  • Listening to: Zardonic and Voicians - Bring Back the Glory
  • Watching: Ultimate Versus by Ryuhei Kitamura
  • Playing: Hotline Miami
  • Eating: Mozzarella sticks, begrudgingly.
  • Drinking: Breakfast tea with milk.

Activity


Check this, man.

So, a couple of weeks ago I bought a box of frozen mozzarella sticks from the store, 'cos I'm a sad single piece of shit that doesn't know how to cook. They were sitting in the freezer all this time, right, just minding their own business. Tonight I finally tell myself, 'right gonna have a proper FEAST for dinner' and I take the sticks out and I leave them cooking in the oven. While I'm waiting for the things to thaw, I check the box, nutrition facts, specifically. Just for something to do, you know? It's not like I'm insecure about my health or whatever, I'm thin as a twig and walk for a living. Also I don't have a car anymore and have to walk everywhere when I'm not walking for work, and admittedly that's all my fault. But anyway, back to the label.

What's the serving size? One stick.

Are you shitting me. One stick isn't a serving. One stick is like half an appetizer.

Okay, well how many servings per box. Nutrition label says about eight. ABOUT eight? What's this amateur bullshit, you can't measure out eight sticks into a box? I open the oven right quick to count out how many there were in the box, and, sure enough, there are seven in there, laying all innocent on the metallic grate. Fuck you man, seven sticks isn't 'about eight'. I can understand 'about this many servings' for something like a bag of goldfish crackers, where you can't honestly expect them to measure out an exact number into every bag, but for something like this, where there are literally less than ten pieces a bag, I don't think it's too much for me to expect that they'd give me exactly eight sticks per box. None of this 'maybe seven, maybe nine' bullshit, give me what I paid for, motherfucker.

Somewhere out there, there's a family of four that are preparing their nice family dinner and the absentminded father stuck seven of these sticks into the oven, because the nutrition label lied to him barefaced, saying that there were eight. And he's taking the sticks out, measuring two for himself, two for his college-bound daughter, two for his six-year old son, and one for his lovely wife. The wife, she just completely falls apart, screaming and throwing plates all over, questioning whether he really loves her, whether he's been seeing someone else on the side, someone he's saving the last mozzarella stick for. The marriage dissolves, the funding for the daughter's continuing education disappears into supplementary mozzarella stick purchases, she grows up to be a prostitute and her kid brother becomes a junkie street thug.

All because fucking T.G.I. Friday's just doesn't give half a shit about providing their customers with a quality product.

I buy a box of frozen Eggo waffles, does the box say 'about ten waffles'? No, it says 'ten waffles' clearly on the side of the box. And every box contains ten, no more, no less. How does the frozen mozzarella stick industry continue to get away with such wanton negligence? I call for a boycott of all T.G.I. Friday's products. This disrespect of the consumer cannot be allowed to continue.
  • Mood: Rant
  • Listening to: Zardonic and Voicians - Bring Back the Glory
  • Watching: Ultimate Versus by Ryuhei Kitamura
  • Playing: Hotline Miami
  • Eating: Mozzarella sticks, begrudgingly.
  • Drinking: Breakfast tea with milk.

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Monoglyph
Dmitry Shcherbakov
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
I'm nobody too special. Born in Russia, 1993. Moved to the States on my eighth year. Been to New York, Connecticut and Massachusetts over the years. Attended art school in Manhattan for several months until a certain incident brought me back home. I'm not overly certain about what else to say. Bios are not really my forte.
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Comments


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:icondreadmaster231:
Dreadmaster231 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yo Glyph, haven't heard from you in awhile, 'sup?
Reply
:icondreadmaster231:
Dreadmaster231 Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday glyph!

Hope ya rock out with them oddland entities of the grey and mysterious!
Reply
:iconlordviita12:
LordViita12 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Professional Artist
 Hello! You're art is amazing! Just like Daria's. I'm your sister's friend from RSM. :) Nya ha! 
Reply
:iconmonoglyph:
Monoglyph Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
O thank you very much, I appreciate the interest. Nice to meetcha. Cheerio~. 
Reply
:icondreadmaster231:
Dreadmaster231 Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dude... your page is so lonely...

Happy birthday, hope this might give a cheering up.
Reply
:iconmonoglyph:
Monoglyph Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't worry about it. DA's a place to dump my art, not to socialize. At least for me.

Also thank you very much.
Reply
:icondreadmaster231:
Dreadmaster231 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh, Well i prefer making friends in here then in Facebook... At least here I know there's someone that's legitimately into what I am.
Reply
:iconmonoglyph:
Monoglyph Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's true, I guess. I don't like social networking in general. Don't even have a facebook.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondreadmaster231:
Dreadmaster231 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You really remind me of a friend of mine... You may meet him soon in the coming days
Reply
:iconmonoglyph:
Monoglyph Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...Mysterious...
Reply
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